Christmas attire

I never thought much about clothing to be worn specifically on Christmas. For most of my life the only criteria I had for the clothes I wore on Christmas was: "no stains". The first Christmas I spent with my wife's family everyone said, "Tom, why aren't you wearing any red?" I wanted to say, "Because red clothing is stupid looking!" But I'm a wuss so instead I said, "Uh, I dunno". Then I found this shirt at the Salvation Army a few months later. It's a pretty kick-ass shirt (I love how the thousand dollars is unnecessarily rounded to the nearest penny. And the quotes around "in one month" are a great touch. Brilliant!). As an added bonus, I knew it would bend the noses of my tight-assed and relatively humorless in-laws.