Use a fuckin' FORK!

If you're not Asian and you bring your lunch to work and you eat it with chopsticks, guess what? You're pretentious as shit!

Hi, I'm a sucker

Somehow my health insurance company sent me a check for $70 in error. So what do I do? I call them up and tell them that I think they made a mistake and that "this money is not rightfully mine*" I'm such a loser! Why didn't I just cash that bitch like every other person on Earth would have done? Let me tell you, this being righteous shit doesn't fuckin' pay. And it doesn't pay exactly 70 goddamn dollars in this case.

* what a gay phrase. I'm a dork.

Father's Day

I have a little daughter. And another on the way really soon (gulp). And I've gotta tell you I'm proud to be a dad. Today I'm paging through the Boscov's Father's Day Sale flyer and see the picture below. Is this how people see the typical father? Good grief! Us white guys fuckin' suck#.

# see, I told you golf sucks! Just look at what it's done to us fellas.