Hey Lady, your life is fucked up!
Two entries in my new series entitled “Hey Lady, your life is fucked up!”:
(1) Last night a young girl comes treat-or-treating at my house with her twenty-something mom standing behind her. I hook the kid up with some Twix. Then the woman asked, “Can mom trick-or-treat too?” And she stuck out a bag*. You’re twenty years old and you’re trick-or-motherfucking treating?!?! Hey lady, your life is fucked up!
(2) Also last night, but a few hours later: I’m in the Garden Grill, a neighborhood dive bar. After rummaging through her bag for a while, I see a 40ish woman go up to the bar and hand the bartender a small stack of quarters. He pours her a 10 ounce Bud draft. You’re 40 years old and you’re buying beers with change?!?! You need either (a) more money or (b) to drink less. Probably a lot less. Now c’mon people, say it with me: Hey lady, your life is fucked up!
*Hell no I didn’t give the mom any candy…
"C'mon dude, hook a moms up with some motherfuckin' Twix yo"
"How much beer can I get for this many quarters?"
posted by in the aisles @ 5:53 AM
1 Comments
1 Comments:
Not sure if I should be embarrassed to say this or not, but this morning my wife asked me if I had a single dollar bill, I said I think I only had a five, she said I'll just use quarters to buy a cup of coffee. I guess it's not the same as shots of Wild Turkey in a dive bar?
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home